I am new in Him

It's been a while since I wrote my last post... Apologies for the delay, but I also have a reason.

Recently I went to a church summer camp. And before you go "oh... just another camper spreading his Jesus around" let me tell you about it.

Camps like this one have been a part of my life ever since... well for as long as I can remember. And every camp is different, and a few of them have changed my life.
This one has.

Camp this year was an escape for me. Things weren't going well at home, my social life was... well... pretty much one big lie. And on and on. So I went on a drive with my Youth Group, and 2 hours later the world was left behind us. Breathe in, breathe out. We're at camp and nothing can touch me. Or so I thought.
But God had other plans. He was going to show several things. First, that He Loves me literally beyond human comprehension. He showed how much He loves me (by the way... I have not an exactly.... "christian" life) on the first night. And it knocked me to my knees and stole my breathe away. I rededicated myself to Him that night. After that, every lesson was an eye opener for the things I've been doing wrong, and what I had to do to get my life back in line. Well... on day 4 He told me that it was time to give all of myself, or live apart from Him... And trust me.... I did NOT want to do either....
Because, you see... The part I was holding back... was my girlfriend... And I Love her more than the usual I love you that bf/gf's exchange.
So... literally heart broken, I gave up. I gave God everything I had to give Him. Which leaves me with nothing. But you know... I'm glad to give it to Him. Because in His hands things always come out better than anything I can do on my own. And He doesn't take away what you have and literally leave you with nothing. He gives it all back... 1000 times greater than ever before.
It might be a while before I get her back. But in the meantime, I have God, and He's gonna get me through any pain, any trouble, any obstacle life throws at me. Until the day that I am the man He wants me to be.


And that day.... I can't wait to see :)

First...... and Last

Running in a race. Competing in a talent show. Getting back to the fridge for that last piece of cake.
Just a few things that we want to be first to do. If you ask someone, usually the last thing they tell you is "God's eyes."
I have noticed that so many things get put at the front of our schedules that we forget to put God in there and make Him first. We do everything that is expected of us, we strive to be the best at what we do, but... can you honestly say that you strive do literally everything that He asks you to do, the first time?

Running in a race. Competing in a talent show. Getting off the train.
A few things where we don't want to be last. If you ask someone, they will most likely tell you that they don't want to be last in anything. They want be people to see them at the front succeeding, not at the back where they might as well be failing.
I have noticed that sometimes the one thing that we should be doing first, fulfilling God's plan, is the last thing on our minds....  What makes Him last?


So, I have a challenge for anyone, and everyone... A challenge to make the day to day routine come second. And start making God the first thing you think about. Every day.

A Request

May I come over for a while? I would like to talk to you. It's nothing important, or serious.... Actually I would like nothing more than to just be there with you while you go about the day.... Let me know what you think on that...
I'll be waiting.

Restless.....

I'm so tired...

I haven't slept at all this week....
I feel as though my heart is a hundred miles away. Which in a way.. Is true.

She's out of town this week, and we haven't been able to talk in any way.
Normally I can sleep when she isn't near... Not very well, but at least its sleep. But this week... Not even close.. I feel as though the Earth is just pulling, and pulling, and pulling.... I'm so tired....

Last night I was talking to her. We were actually having a great conversation.... Then I realized she wasn't really there. And as embarrassing as it is to be talking to a wall for almost an hour, I still cried...

I miss her....
So very, very much....

Just So You Know

So here's something that anyone who reads this should know...

When someone says "I need some time alone" what they really mean is "Hold me."
When they walk away angry, what they want is someone to come after them.

People are programmed to be in a relationship. We are "relational" beings. When someone close to us is in pain, we can sense it, even if they try to hide it...
Our natural response is to want to help, unfortunately we don't always know how to help.
I'm working on a solution to that....

I'll let you know if I figure it out...

That is all for now.